In The Backyard

it happened. the thing in todays world you wish never happens, and your heart breaks if it does, did. thursday, february 14th of 2008 a shooting occurred in my home state of Illinois, at the Northern Illinois University campus in DeKalb, Illinois.

iv heard about shootings, iv read about them. but this is my backyard. this is home. it means something different i am sad to say. before, my heart went out to those effected by these situations, but it hits harder when it is at home. when it is in the backyard.

i dont know what to say. i am speechless. i think of the VT shootings, and how shocked i was. it never loses its shock value. it always catches us off guard. and i think that is good.

it reminds me how short life is, and how much shorter it can be. it reminds me that this life is not all that important......it is just temporary. it reminds me that life is just a vapor. one day we are here, and the next we are gone.

my heart is broken, and my thoughts are somewhat scattered if you cant tell. naturally my mind starts to race and wants to know why someone would do such a thing. and honestly, i dont know if we will ever truly understand as long as we are on this earth. we can think, we can theorize why the man did what he did.....but we will never fully understand. only God does. in all of His infinite knowledge and wisdom, that of which we with finite minds can never truly nor fully comprehend, called them home now. i dont understand why, and i dont have to. God is God, not i. do i want to know and understand? yes. do i have to? no.

but i do know this from experience. God hears us, He hears our cries. our cries of pain, suffering, ache......our cries for help. our cries for peace and comfort. our cries for understanding. i believe He answers, because He has for me time and time again. sometimes it is not what i want to hear. others it is. either way, i find peace in knowing that He is a God who knows the epitome of best for me, and all of His creation.

my urging for those in pain, those who put stock in this life is this: seek Him, trust Him. this life is temporary. make it count, and do so for His Kingdom. if you are in pain, if you need peace and comfort, seek Him. open your heart, open your mind to God, and let Him do His work in your life. seek His Son, Christ Jesus. for He is the only hope. and let go of this life, surrendering it to His Will.

this doesnt promise safety or exclusion from trials or hardships. but, He will provide you a comfort, a peace that surpasses all our finite understanding.

my heart, prayers and thoughts go out to those at NIU today and in the days to come. may you seek and find. may you be filled with a peace, with a comfort that you cannot explain. and may you in that be drawn to the only Hope. Jesus Christ.

God bless you all.