i smile

i have been told by many people that i smile a lot. just today i was told by the nice lady at the STA Plaza who took my mug shot (for my bus pass) that i have a nice smile. i have come to notice that i often find myself smiling without realizing it....if you follow that line of thought. i can smile for like 10 minutes without even realizing it until i see someone stair at me. this happened tonight.

the church i attend here in washington had what we call a "fall fest" for families with kids. i sat in the middle as chris chased drew around (he had a smarty and got a sugar rush) and just whatched all the parents and their kids. next thing i know, i realize i have one of the biggest smiles i have had in a long time.

but then something clicked. i was not smiling because of anything external really....it was all internal. it was the joy i got from watching the interaction between the parents and their children. it was seeing a young student who had been coming to church and i knew had a rough background, serving at a game booth, and seeing the smile on his face. these things brought me joy inside, and that showed through my smile.

see, i believe that what touches our hearts, the joy in us causes us to smile on the outside. so i ask you this....what fills you with joy on the inside? of course, for me at the core it is the security i have in knowing Christ as my Savior who died for me, but after that there are other things.....like the children and parents. what is it for you? and if Christ is not at your center, i challenge you to explore this, to take that leap towards Him. cause nothing will bring you greater joy.........not even the brightest of results from the darkest of circumstances.

the loss of Christmas

i hung up some Christmas lights today that i got two years ago at hesston. one strand of white, one of blue.....and wishing i had a third to go down the middle of the room. darn.

while doing this i had the opportunity to think about how some people lovingly call me the grinch when it comes to Christmas.

it is well known by those who know me well, that over the years i have come to despise the Christmas season more and more. and with that statement, please allow me to explain. i dont like much Christmas music, trees, presents, dinners, lights, etc. like i used to. why? because this is not what Christmas is really about, yet it is what we have made it to be. i hate the buiseness of Christmas, how we have taken something so precious and sacred and turned it into a market.

i think of the Temple, and how Jesus tore the place apart. think about it. the people of His day took the holiest place and turned it into a market. and here we are 2000 some years later, doing the same thing to one of the most sacred of celebrations. i am convinced that if Christ were to come back at Christmas, He would tear this place apart.

i love Christmas for what it truly is, the celebration of the holy, sacred miraculous virgin birth of the Lord of my life, Jesus Christ. in turn i hate Christmas for what it has become, a spectacle for all to enjoy complete with lights, presents, dinners, trees, etc. im not saying these things are bad....but they have become bad. the focus has been lost and we have become consumed with the wrong thing. we have made Christmas into an idol, worshiping these things....when we should be worshiping the true reason for this time, Christ.

so iv you think i dont like Christmas, quiet honestly its probly that i dont like your idea of Christmas. i think it is time that we get back to the roots here. to really refocus on what it is we are celebrating. i believe it is imperative, and that to not do so is tragic.

my prayer

I know that I’ve been,
Given more than beyond measure,
I come alive when,
I see beyond my fears
I know that I’ve been given more than earthly treasure,
I come alive when
I’ve broken down and given you control

"Beyond Measure" by Jeremy Camp

risk

so iv been talking with emily allison, and she pointed out that i have been writing a lot. you may have noticed this as well. its kinda weird i guess, cause all through out my academic career i never wrote this much. but here we are. iv summed it up to i just have a lot on my heart and mind i cant just keep bottled up and to myself. something in me says, i need to write this.....so i do.

in talking with emily this morning, i mentioned that i was going to work on my speech for this wednesday at some point today. and she asked me what it was about, and i realized this is something i must write. i can not keep it in.

iv been challenged about many things in my own life a lot here in the last few weeks, and as you can read in my earlier blog, have come to realize some things fully in the last few days.

one of these things iv been challenged with is what my speech is on. the last few weeks when iv been riding the bus, there has been a guy every once in a while. at first i tried to distance myself from him, i was almost embarrassed of him. sounds weird. see, he had no shame of his faith, and he actively sought out people to share it with. i on the other hand just sat quietly on the bus keeping to myself. here was a guy living out what i have preached about, and i am embarrassed to be associated with him in any way. that was not right.

see, i would always talk about sharing my faith, about how it is something i believe we are commanded to do (and i do). but then, i would just sit in my corner and wait for God to smack me in the face with an opportunity to share my faith. i would never stick my neck out. then i see this guy who even when trash talked by some guy, he keeps truckin along sharing his heart.

iv been convicted. i need to stop just preaching it and sitting in my corner and waiting. i need to step up to the plate and stick my neck out. i need to take some initiative. see, part of following Christ is taking risk. to stick your neck out knowing your head might get cut off. this is our charge as followers of Christ, and i am guilty of not stepping up most of the time.

this needs to change. i need to change. and i am....gradually. i would encourage you, if you call yourself a follower of Christ, a CHRISTIAN......to take this walk with me. it wont be easy, it will hurt at times. i need to start sticking myself out there, step out on that limb and take a chance for Christ. sure im going to fall every once in a while. but i know who is going to catch me. and that keeps me going. please join me in growing and living out a faith and love in Jesus Christ. after all, as followers it is no longer a choice.......but a command.

when forgivness hits home

i had a dream last night. and no, it was nothing like MLK Jr.

i had a dream that i was at a walmart with a bunch of my students from nwoods this summer. it was winter time, and obviously i was home for break. we were working a fund raiser or something, im not really sure....probly cause its not the point. anyways, after a day of working, i get a call that i need to go, and as i start walking out to the main doors, i pass my step-dad who smiles at me. i turn and tell tim wyne peace, and that i will see him later and continue walking. then i notice who is there to pick me up, waiting for me at the main doors.

an old friend, someone i have come to love and care for as if my own brother, flesh and blood. yet i have let past events get in the way and fester into bitterness. something i know is wrong. when i saw him i was surprised, but filled with such joy. i knew who it was, and i smiled. i felt no bitterness, no anger......but joy, love, forgiveness......and guilt.

it didnt take long after i woke up this morning to realize the significance of this dream. ever since i moved all i could think about was hanging with my nwoods friends, which i will do. but i had no desire to hang with others. i was angry, felt abandoned for something better and funner.....maybe an issue of pride for myself? and then i remembered a discussion i had with a good friend and mentor the other night about forgiveness. he told me how his bitterness and anger was gone, that he let it go and moved on.....and i was challenged.

the other night i had had enough and i broke down. it felt like i had a stone tied to my anckle that was draging me down and i needed to cut it off. and so i did....i gave my anger, my envy, my pride, all of this junk to God for Him to get rid of, cause i knew in my weakness it would remain and just fester. i could not do it on my own. i felt refreshed the next day, even outwardly happy, something that has been missing for some time since moving here.

this all came back to me this morning as i lied in bed after waking from this dream. i put this junk behind me, i gave it to God and im done with it. i am sick of feeling angry, of letting my pride and bitterness get in the way of a friendship. the whole concept of forgiveness really hit home for me, not because i felt like i had forgiven someone necessarily, but because i felt the effects so strongly of forgiveness from God. i know this junk is behind me, i know i can move on. though i am still weak, and so i ask for help from God. cause as always, i know if i try it on my own il just screw it up royally.

here is my heart. im done being bitter, selfish, prideful, angry, envious, jealous, etc. it takes me no where but down. iv felt a change in me, and now i understand what it is, the importance of it. this doesnt mean i wont screw up, i know i will....it is called being human. but that is not where my heart is, it is not what i desire.

iv come to think, maybe we dont really understand forgiveness until we realize the realness of the forgiveness of our Heavenly Father. at least, this was my case.

i just had to

i saw this on a friends facebook, and i had to post it again. it's all bout home for me.

1. That farm boy standing next to the feed bin did more
work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.

2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you
drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator. I have a four
wheel drive because I need it. Drive it or get it out of the way.

3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven
years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.

4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our
women will get you whipped...by our women.

5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to
us if a flathead catfish breaks it off at the handle. We have a
name for those little trout you fish for...bait.

6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order
steak. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick
off the two pounds of ham and turkey.

9. You bring coke into my house, it better be brown, wet,
and served over ice.

10. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car you drive on
weekends. We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million
dollar combines (x 2) that we use two weeks a year.

11. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town.
We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

12. Our women hunt, fish, drive trucks, tractors, and 4 wheelers--because they
want to. So, you're a feminist from the city. Isn't that cute.

13. Yeah, we eat catfish. Carp, too--and turtle. You really
want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.

14. They are pigs and cows. That's what they smell like. Get over
it. Don't like it? Interstates 70, 80, 64, 74 go two
ways--Interstates 55 & 57 go the other two. Pick one and use it
accordingly.

15. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season.
It's a religious holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.

16. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called
being friendly. Understand the concept?

17. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water
hazard. It spooks the fish.

18. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over
for driving like an idiot? His name is "Sir" -no matter how old he is

19. Collars of shirts are meant to be folded down, refer to number 6 to see what you look like!

some day, i hope....

i would like to have children. i like kids, i think they are great. otherwise i wouldnt be so excited about being a youth pastor.

but the more i live with a 12 year old girl, the more i hope one day in the future i dont have girls.

and then, i think of all the fun i would have with their potential boyfriends and a smile comes to my face.

i hope i have a girl some day. and lots of boys to watch out for her.

i hope.

the fashion problem

i stumbled upon an interesting article today about fashion that brought up a topic that really bugs me to be honest. i would encourage you to check it out here and then continue to read on.

you may have noticed this is my third post related to clothing. you are an observant one! this is an issue that has been rekindled in me so to speak within the last month or so. what the article talks about (for those who didn't read it, here is a readers digest) is how today's youth and children are bullying others simply because of the clothes they are or are not wearing. and also how high end clothing makers are expanding their clothing lines to the younger generation.

oh how gratefully for this i am. NOT!

honestly, wearing Nike or Adidas, or some expensive French or Italian brand of jeans or dress does not define you. and if it does, you need some serious help, cause that is just pathetic.

what really bugs me though is how this is tolerated. it seems like society thinks we can fix this by lowering prices for these high end clothes, so more people can afford them. give me a break!

what needs to happen is the parents taking responsibility for raising their children. teach them the importance of character and integrity, and the fact that it is not built on tearing others down or what you wear.

but this does not surprise me. our culture and society keeps going down hill more and more every day it seems. women don't respect themselves when it comes to dress (though there are some great women out there who do!) and in turn guys don't respect women. and now people think you aren't someone if you don't wear this brand. kids think this!!!

not to mention a lot of the new fashions just look stupid. i don't blame the parents and kids who dress sensibly....who wants to waste their money and time on a pair of fashion jeans that just look stupid?

now, i admit that i like some brands over others. pretty much all of my shoes are Adidas brand, simply cause i feel most comfortable in them. and i don't go out and buy the latest pair. same with my jeans. i like a few brands and that is what i buy, cause i like them. not cause they are the hottest fashion (and they are not).

now that i have spewed my thoughts (i hope someone can make sense of them!), where does it leave us?

i challenge you to join me in being sensible with what we buy and wear. a pair of fashion jeans that cost $120 is not what makes you who you are, and should not be the basis on which people judge you. it is who you are on the inside that counts, a point i think has lost much of its meaning over time because its been said so much. but it is true. you were created beautifully by the very hands of God. it is He who defines you, not the world, not clothes.

lets grow up, lets be mature. the latest fashion is not always worth it.

for the ladies again

my last post got a response that i was not expecting. i was contacted by the family of Christa Taylor, a young woman who desires modest clothing for women today. so much so that with the help of her father, she began her own clothing company called "Christa Taylor"........duh!

i would encourage all women who honestly respect their own body, to check out this website.

http://www.christa-taylor.com/

after hearing about it, i checked it out and was amazed! and to just know that there is a woman out there who took this step and did what she did rocks! i would encourage you to check it out, and more so examine your clothes. what are you wearing? what does it say about you?

for the ladies, regarding a "creepy guy" group

so i stumbled upon something that i could not pass up commenting on.

on facebook i noticed that some girls i happen to know joined a group entitled "Girls Who Unfortunatly Always Attract Creepy Guys". now, what i have to say does not so much apply to the girls i know in this case, but i pray it is a reminder.

i clicked on the group to look at the page and read the description, and noticed some of the profile pictures of the girls who have joined. many of them looked immodest. so i started think about something that has not crossed my mind in a while.

how a girl dresses tells you what kind of guy they are trying to attract, whether it be intentional or not. a girl who dresses half naked is always going to attract a guy who is interested in that. and not very surprising most of the guys who are interested in that are often creepy. so it seems almost a contradiction for many of the girls i noticed to have joined this group.

if you dont want to attract creepy guys, why dont you start with your dress. respect yourself enough to cover your body in a modest fashion and not draw attention to yourself. stop tempting guys by showing so much skin and then blaming them for it. it is your body, take responsibility for it and grow up.

i got news for ya......modest is hottest. its old, and not original, but it is true. you want to attract good guys, then dress modestly and respect yourselves and you will find a guy who desires that in a woman.

this is not rocket science.

define

i started thinking this morning about what shapes me. i got the idea from some of the devotions written by Sarah in the scooper for reality. they were all about what makes you who you are, what defines and shapes you. one of my favorite passages from one of my two favorite books of the Bible was used by Sarah, that being Ephesians 5:1. "be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children".

it made me think how much of an imitator of God i am, or better put how much i strive to be. this just a part of our calling, but a part that should overshadow all other parts. and from this should flow all other parts of our calling. we have to make a conscious effort to do this. remember, we are by nature sinful creatures. this is a daily struggle. over the years i have come to find what i now call obvious. the more i surround myself with things and people that are in line with God, the more in line with God i will be.

so i join Sarah in asking what defines you? what are you surrounding yourself with that shapes and molds you? is it worth it in the end?

don't get comfortable

"There is a river that washes you clean
There is a tree that marks the places you've been
Blood that was spilled, although not your own
For all of these things, love will atone"

this is part of a song by Jars Of Clay, a song that i have come to love. it talks about the river being the blood of Christ, and how it washes us clean. the blood of Christ does this, not ours. and on top of this, there is nothing that could ever be done outside of the blood of Christ that can wash us clean before the Lord God.


and i love this last line, "For all these things, love will atone". everything we have ever done wrong, every screw up and mistake.....it is all covered by Christ's atoning blood through His death.

but here is the catch. see, today it seems that this is all we emphasize.....that by accepting Jesus, by saying this little prayer you are all set and guaranteed to go to heaven. i do not argue that if you do this you will go to heaven, so long as it is true in your heart....and God knows that answer just as good as you do. but what we fail to inform people today is that there is more to it that just saying yes. there must be action, after all being a Christian is really a lifestyle, one that mimics Jesus. accepting Christ is not a cure-all for life's problems, it is a commitment to follow Him faithfully, even through the crap of life. and fyi, no where in the Bible does it say a life with Christ will be problem free. Jesus Himself said that to follow Him will tear families apart.

so yes, the atoning death and blood of Christ washes us clean, wipes the slate for us before God, but in accepting Him and this sacrifice He made for us, we are saying that we will follow Him faithfully and whole heartedly. that is the catch. to be a total sell-out for Christ in all we do.

the cost is everything. the rewards are unimaginable. are you willing to step up to the plate?

What Are You Wearing?

check this out....

"Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature."
Romans 13:14 NIV

what are you wearing? do others recognize it?