Can't find the logic, only peace

have you ever found something, been so sure of it.........this is it. and it hurts inside waiting, but waiting you know you must. you don't understand, but you trust. you cant find any logic in any of it, but you see God's hand it in everywhere.

like a small child's picture of finger-painting. prints of the fingers and hands cover the whole page.

here i am. i am so excited, i am finding it hard to even type this!

im at a new level. my love is deeper. there is no logic, iv been told this in different ways so many times i laugh now.

it hasn't been long enough.
you haven't spent enough time in person with her.
she is young, immature.
you are to young and don't know what you are talking about.


maybe it hasn't been long enough according to society.
maybe we haven't been together in person long enough.
she isn't to young, and i would argue (though biased ;-) ) that she is more mature than most girls her age, in every aspect.
i am not to young, though i admit i don't have a clue what i am doing.

but you know what???????

i am trusting.

not man, not myself. i am trusting God.

He has yet to tell me i have taken a wrong turn. there have been trials, arguments, disappointments.............but He has been faithful, and full of grace and mercy.

and He has shown it many times to me through her.

the greatest thing so far? today i finally reached a point i have been struggling with.......and i didn't do anything myself to get there!

i want to tell her everything, how my day went, how i am feeling, what i want and need. everything. past, present, future.

and she doesn't need to push me, poke and prod like i had to ask her to do before.

and not only this.......i am at peace about everything. i know who's hands this relationship is in. and i trust them. why shouldn't i????

i have all these years with everything else.........why should this be any different?

i have been blessed with a woman who is more than i deserve. and i truely believe that. and i have been called on something. holding on to it so tight.......it could burst in my face.

so here i am, at peace, and bringing her before God. letting it go and placing it in His hands.

after all, He knows what He is doing. and i am just walking blind.

but i trust. and He is good.