to follow

i decided about a week ago, to re-read the Gospels. i must admit, it has been some time since i had last spent solid time studying the life of Jesus. and so i have begun reading the Gospel of Matthew again, taking it slow and soaking it in. and for the last day or so i have been stuck on a part in chapter 4. i have read on, but i find myself coming back to this part over and over again.

it is the part where Jesus calls His first disciples. a part that honestly, i think often times i have just blown by. but something about it struck me this time. there seems to me something peculiar about the calling here. no, not so much the calling itself, but the response to it.

19"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." 20At once they left their nets and followed Him. 21Going on from there, He saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee, preparing their nets. Jesus called them, 22and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed Him.

here we find Jesus walking up to some men, telling them to follow Him, and they just leave everything behind. something about this strikes me in a way i have no words for. these grown men, with businesses and equipment for the job, even a father, just get up and leave it all behind without a second thought. i remember hearing before something about the way Jesus called them. i had heard that it was an honor to be a disciple of a rabbi, a teacher. and that the way to be called into discipleship by one was for them to simply say, "follow me". this is exactly what Jesus did. now, Jesus is much more than a typical rabbi, He is the Son of God. He is not just a teacher, but the Creator.

and He called these men to go with Him, to follow Him and learn. and they got up and did so without a second thought. i think that feeling i mentioned earlier, the one without words, is conviction. conviction in my heart about following Jesus. i remember excepting the call to follow Jesus, but am i living up to it today? am i following Him in passionate pursuit without second thoughts? am i willing to leave my boat, even my father, behind to follow the King?

Peter, Andrew, James and John were. they left it all. at once. immediately.

there was no second thought in their decision. how about you? how about me? i know for me, it is something i honestly struggle with at times. Paul talks about the battle between the spirit and the flesh. what i know is right and true, and what i want out of my selfishness. do i really want to leave my boat? how about my father? my flesh, our flesh, wants to hold onto these things. yet my spirit says no, let them go and seek passionately after the King. it says, dont look back, dont rethink it. just go.

just follow.

the call the disciples received i dont think is much different from that of ours. we are called to follow, to learn and walk in the ways of Jesus, just as the disciples were. the question i must ask, that we must ask is this: are you willing to leave it all and follow Him?

would you leave it all behind to pursue the King?

plague of weeks

peace. it is something that many people in the world today desire. in fact, i think it is something many people would give a great deal for. i know peace is something i desire. but i desire something more than a world without war. cause lets face it, Scripture is clear there will be war on this earth till Christ returns. no, what i want more than that is a deeper peace. a peace that i dont really understand. i want the peace of God.

i have been stuck for several weeks now on a passage in Philippians, and it is just recently that i feel it is time to write of it. my thoughts have been on that of the future, as i am engaged now. it is interesting to me how a change in a relationship, big or small, can bring so many new thoughts. how, a change in status can bring new worries and fears, hopes and dreams. dont get me wrong, i am happy to be engaged, and am excited for the future. but with it comes decisions. this is where worry and fear can, and i think often does, creep in.

so in searching, God led me to Philippians 4. i must note that, it strikes me as funny how i have been thinking on this passage for weeks, and it was not until hearing a sermon on this very passage by my pastor this past Sunday, that i feel led to write on it. so here i am.

6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Paul on several occasions addresses the importance of not worrying; of instead, bringing our issues before God. and here we find Paul following this up with the topic of peace in doing so. but, there is something here, in the way in which we present our requests, that we should do well in taking note. Paul instructs us to do so with thanksgiving. in other words, with a thankful, joyful attitude and mind-set. not one of grumbling and anger. how convicting, and yet comforting. my pastor pointed out that it is impossible to have the peace of God without a joyful, thankful spirit about us first. you cannot have peace with God before having a thankful spirit.

Paul tells us this in more than just words, but also in the way he constructs his point. he first commands us to be thankful in our requests, and THEN tells us about the peace of God. but i think there is more to this than just learning to have a thankful spirit and finding the peace of God. i believe there is more to learn here about the benefits of finding peace in God.

look at how Paul describes this peace towards the end of verse 7. he says "...which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." i believe that when satan attacks, he more times than not targets our minds and hearts. more so than our flesh, it is the hearts and minds of people, God's children and not, that he strikes. i know this is true of me. when satan gets a foothold in my mind or heart, it only makes it easier for him to gain one with my flesh. it is because of this that what Paul says here is so significant to me.

this peace that i dont understand, this peace that is of God, guards me in the ways i need it most. it guards my most vulnerable parts of my being. and it does so in the One who conquered the attacker for all eternity. one note i read of this passage likens it to a sentry standing guard. one in a defensive stance. a "protective custody". this is the peace i desire, and it is of God. nothing else. this is a peace that the world cannot provide. it is not a peace that anything we buy can bring us.

i dont know about you, but that is the kind of peace i want. though i am residing in this world of chaos for now, it is comforting to me that i can find peace at all times, and in any situation. we all face choices each day. we all have to make decisions. some are bigger than others. but either way, satan uses those times to strike us the most with worry, fear and doubt. we are commended to take these things to God with thanksgiving. and it is then that we find peace.

but not just any peace.
a peace that honestly, i just dont get.

and i like that.