Search me, Know me

Psalm 139. you should read it. and then read it again. and then, read it again. slowly.

i recommend a few highlighters and pens as well.

i have been hooked on it for the last several hours. just reading over it one line at a time. it fascinates me how brutally open the Psalmist is here, wanting God to search Him, and realizing that it is inescapable.

like really, there is no way to escape it....no where to go.

8If i go up to the heavens, you are there;
if i make me bed in the depths, you are there.

and in verse 10, he further emphasizes this.....that God is inescapable. His supervision is inescapable.

the detail the Psalmist goes into blows my mind. in verse 13 he starts talking about his very being, and how God knows his "innermost being", because He created it. his innermost being.....wow. the very center of our emotions, our feelings of wrong and right.......God knows this very part of us better than we do our selves because He made them.

but it gets better.

check out verse 15 here. the depths of the earth, here he speaks of the womb. it is here that we are woven together, where we are made and formed.

this whole Psalm is one of brutal honest out cry it seems to me, of acknowledging the truth of our creation by the one true Creator, and the truth of the inescapable presence of Him. and with that, willingly seeking that He search us, that He make Him self known to us. that He bring to the surface any offense we have committed.

a willing offering of repentance. might this be our prayer, on our knees before the throne of God. this is what it speaks to me. to the One who holds my life, who ordained all of my days before i was even formed. i ask that He who knows me better than i know myself, search me....test me. that He would know my heart and my thoughts, and bring to my attention any offense i have committed that i might repent of it before Him.

and in doing so, i might stand up humbly and walk in His light. the light which He shines before me, after me, all around me.