under the wing

i hate it when i cant find the words for how and what i am feeling and thinking. i feel helpless, constricted and tied down. i have felt this way most of today, until now. i am starting to find the words for what is on my heart and mind. i only pray they make as much sense to whoever reads this as it does to me.

i have never realized the importance of mentoring until today. nothing profound happened to me, except seeing the importance of it in those we read of in Scripture. i think, if it was important for them to go through training, to be discipled and mentored, how much more important is it today? see, if i could do it my way i would not be here in school right now, and i would have gone into full-time ministry a few years ago. but i wonder where i would be if i had done that. burned out, tired, lonely, disappointed.

i look back over the last few years of my life and see where God has been training me. and it never stops. my grandma just passed into eternity a week ago tomorrow. i had never been that close to death in my life, yet i had helped others through it....and how much more can i help now that i have personally journeyed through that valley? even before i got my act together, someone saw something in me and took me under their wing in the ministry, and then passed me on to another person to continue. and after high school i continued to pursue the call God has placed on my life and surround myself with Godly men to mentor me. this is a continuous thing. i think of Joseph in Scripture, how God took him through 13 years of hell, training and preparing him for his future position at age 30. and i find it interesting that this was the same age that David became king, and Jesus Himself started His ministry.

after reading about this, thinking about it, i desire more to under go more training than ever before. i desire to continue and surround myself with Godly men who will speak into my life words of wisdom, and encourage me to grow in the Word. i think God has much more training for me to under go in the years to come. and i am glad.