one day

so i was thinking yet again in the shower today. it seems this is where the majority of my thinking happens. i dont know why.

before i went to shower i read an article in my October 2007 Backpacker Magazine that really caught my interest. it was about a man in Silverton, CO who once was a drunk brawler, and became a Bible reading, mountaineering, litter-picker-upper, land protector, generous and helpful citizen.......who one day disappeared in the nearby mountains. but something in this article really grabbed me, and wouldnt let me go, so i chewed on it while i showered. thus here i am.

at one point in the article the writer speaks of a young lady Skip (the man i speak of) worked with. check this out....

Rosato says she asked Conrad about his health, and his hiking. "I said, 'If you have trouble or go missing, what should we do?' And he said, 'Don't worry about it, I'll be where I want to be."
"Vanishing Act" by Steve Friedman in the October 2007 issue of Backpacker Magazine

i have to be honest that when i read that i started to tear up. "Don't worry about it, I'll be where I want to be." i think about my life. i love the outdoors, i love to hike. i started thinking about this weekend at home, the death of my grandma and how she was cremated. my step-dad and i got to joking about what we would want done with our ashes if we were cremated, and after he said something in relation to Wriggly Field, he said something about me and a mountain peak. i never thought about my death as much as i have this past weekend. no surprise. most people my age dont.

but i started thinking about this today as i showered. it is true, i love the mountains, i love to hike and be in nature. i love being out in God's creation unspoiled. and as i think more about it, it becomes clearer that i could die out there......but i believe i would be at peace. as Skip Conrad told Rosato, "Don't worry about it, I'll be where i want to be."

i dont know the future, only my Father and Creator does. and i trust Him. i know He has a plan for my life, my future earthly death planned out, and i find comfort in that. i know that in the end here, i will ascend to Him for all eternity. but as for my earthly death, may it be declared here. should i die a natural death, one not lost in God's creation, let me make this clear.

my body will not be buried in a fenced in yard, a cemetery with a trimmed lawn and nice headstones. this is not me. i will be cremated, and my ashes scattered in the mountains of my choice. this is not a childish, immature idea. i find God most clearly in His creation, and this is where i wish for my body to return, dust to dust, ashes to ashes.

so let it stand here, my desire for my remains. and, if my end is like that of Skip's, listen to him when he says, "Don't worry about it, I'll be where I want to be."